The Way It Used To Be
by freakingfreak
Summary: Tegan wishes she could go back in time Tegan/Lindsey


THE WAY IT USED TO BE

It was a beautiful Sunday morning in Ohio, Tegan and Lindsey were cuddling in bed without saying any words. Lindsey's head lay on Tegan's chest. She was able to hear her heartbeat, it was regular. That is all she ever wanted, wake up next to the person she has loved for four years. Tegan took her hand and squeezed it. "Did you sleep well?" she whispered in her ear. Lindsey looked right into her eyes, smiled and said: "Yes. I dreamed of you". Tegan smiled back as Lindsey pulled away the blanket. She stood up and went to the bathroom. While she took a bath Tegan made eggs and bacon for breakfast. When Lindsey came out she was surprised about it, but that only proved that Tegan was the perfect woman for her. She has never met someone more charming, understanding and good looking. After the breakfast Tegan took her to a park near a lake. The Couple spent the day there. In the evening Lindsey's dream came true: Tegan proposed to her. She got down on one knee, took a ring out of her jacket and said: "Lindsey, the last four years were the happiest years of my life. You were always there for me when I needed you, and I realized that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you make me the honor of becoming my wife? ". It didn't take long for her to say yes. Tears of joy were running down all over her face.

One day before the wedding, everything was done. The wedding was located in a big hall. Lindsey's mother accompanied her to the altar, when suddenly Sara went up to the altar and said: "I just talked to Tegan and she owns you all for apology. She is not proud of this but she is who she is. She just isn't ready for this. She thanks everybody for coming but no one is getting married today in this hall. I'm sorry. ". Lindsey felt like her heart has been completely ripped out. She has never felt more hurt in her entire life. Everybody in the hall was horrified, especially Lindsey. She didn't say a word when her mother hugged her. One single tear ran down her face.

Tegan sat on a bench and waited for the bus to arrive. Her thoughts were going crazy: "Did I make a mistake? No! If I would have married her I would her broken her heart. I felt so sure about her. Well, I felt the same about Cindy but I still managed to break her heart. I just don't want to turn Lindsey into one of my victims. I'm not meant to be anybody's girlfriend. Every relationship I ever had ended up with me breaking her heart. ". She got on the bus and went home.

On the next day, early in the morning somebody knocked on the door of Tegan's house. When she opened the door Sara was standing outside in a not too happy mood. "Hey! How are you?" she asked. Tegan just looked down at the floor without saying anything. Sara stopped the silence and said: "Why did you do that? ".Tegan slowly looked up to Sara and said very quiet: "It is what it is". Sara was very annoyed. "I'll move out." Tegan said still quiet. "Why and where are you going?" Sara asked surprised. "I'm leaving because I can't stay here anymore!" she shouted and started to cry "Everything here reminds me of her. It's over I have to leave her behind and move on! ". Sara shouted back: "I can't take this anymore, don't act like it was her fault. You did everything yourself. ". Tegan sat down on the floor and started to cry even more. Sara becalmed and sat down next to her sister. She put one arm around her and said: "If that is what you want, then I'm coming with you". Tegan whispered: "Are you sure? ". "Yes I am! We have been roommates for a long time and I don't think it's good for you to be alone. ". The two women hugged.

Two years later Sara and Tegan had settled down in a nice apartment in New York. Sara was a teacher at the New York Film Academy and Tegan was unemployed. She spent every day sleeping and drinking on the couch. Sara was coming back from work when she saw that the apartment looked like a pig stall. Bottles were rolling on the floor, the carpet was spread with chocolate and Tegan was sleeping in her bed. Sara was very angry and screamed: "Tegan! You were getting away with this for far too long. I am done with cleaning the apartment every day!". "Why are you screaming? I'll clean it up." Tegan said while she was rubbing her eyes and getting out of bed. Sara said to herself: "Stay calm and don't kill her. She is still your sister". Tegan looked at Sara like she was crazy and said: "What are you doing? Anyway the water bill just came. You have to pay because I still couldn't find a job." "Did you even try?" Sara said while looking at Tegan angrily. Tegan wasn't able to look into her eyes because she was too ashamed of herself. Sara took a deep breath and started cleaning up.

On the next day Sara and Tegan wanted to go out. They were standing outside their apartment when they noticed that people they have never seen before were moving into the apartment next door. A tall man with broad shoulders said: "Hi! Are you living here? ". Sara answered very politely: "Yes. Hi I'm Sara and this is Tegan." "Nice to meet you, I am Paul", the man looked at Tegan and Sara for a while and said: "Listen! I am not like you but I have nothing against you." Tegan was very confused "What do you mean you are not like us?" Paul stuttered: "I mean, you know, two sisters living together is totally cool. Love is love, right?" Sara interrupted: "No we are not. I mean we are living together but we are not together. I have a girlfriend…not her." Paul was embarrassed: "I'm sorry! I just thought because you two are living together that maybe you are... Look! Because I put you in this situation I want to invite you for dinner. My Girlfriend is the best cook on earth and since we are neighbors we can also be friends." Without even talking with Sara about it Tegan answered: "Yes of course we will come and I can't wait to meet your girlfriend and I can't wait to eat something." Paul was excited: "Great! Come over at eight o'clock"

It was a few minutes after eight when Tegan and Sara were standing in front of Paul's apartment door. Paul opened the door and a little woman with dark hair and a smile on her face was standing next to him. Tegan could barely breathe as she recognized the woman. It was Lindsey who looked at Tegan with pain and anger in her eyes. She took a vase form a small table next to the door and threw it at Tegan. She got out of the way and the vase crashed against the wall, water was spreading on the floor and Tegan went back into her apartment. Lindsey started crying and ran into another room. "What is going on" Paul asked very confused. Sara's heart was beating very fast: "Long story". She went into her apartment and saw Tegan crying on the floor. Sara sat down next to her and tried to calm her down. They sat there the whole night without saying any words.

After that incident Tegan was hiding in the apartment for days. She wasn't eating, sleeping and talking. She was just sitting on the edge of her bed and thinking about Lindsey. Tegan always loved her and never thought that she will see her again. It was late one night Tegan was watching TV when suddenly she heard people shouting. The noises came from Lindsey's apartment. Tegan stood outside of her apartment and put one ear on the door. She was able to understand what they were saying. Paul voice seemed very angry. Tegan heard Lindsey screaming. She ran into the apartment and saw Paul holding a knife against her neck. "Stop" Tegan screamed. She was ready to attack him, when suddenly Paul threw the knife at her. Tegan felt the knife in her stomach. It was pain full. She fell on the ground and saw blurred. Everything was black, there were no noises but she felt the pain.

Tegan heard noises and felt hands touching her but her eyes were closed and she couldn't open them. She tried to move but she was too weak. The noises got louder as she felt a pain going through her body. In this moment her eyes opened for a short time and she saw shadows of people. She was in hospital. That is all she saw. A doctor shouted: "The knife pierced her liver. We have to transplant. Now!" Then a woman screamed: "The liver will be here in 30 minutes"," That's too long. She will die till then." The noises got more quite and the pain became less and less. She knew she was dying when she heard Lindsey crying. She wanted to stand up but nothing worked. She was happy when she heard Lindsey saying: "I love you". Those were the last words Tegan heard.


End file.
